Let a simile be your umbrella

For a long time now, I’ve felt the need to issue a disclaimer about my writing style. I cringe when I start a sentence with and. I know better. But, sometimes, the poetic tone, if I may call it that, calls for my sentence to start with it.

… Which leads me to… I hate it when I end a sentence with a preposition. Again, I know better. But I figure aren’t I also allowed the luxury of utilizing common lazy speak in written form?

And speaking of common speak, it drives me crazy when I hear people use between when they should use among. Or misuse there’s when they should say there are. It especially makes me bonkers when I catch myself doing it. Again, I know better. But the best of us do it.

There is so much more I could pick apart - and do. I try to console myself in thinking that at least I’m aware of the fact that I know better. But perhaps, ignorance would be bliss. Or less stressful, anyway.

“Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.” - William Safire

This seems like an opportune time to post some of Mr. Safire’s Rules for Writers. I heart him. Don’t always agree with him, but I heart him nonetheless.

• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• The passive voice should never be used.
• Do not put statements in the negative form.
• Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
• If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
• A writer must not shift your point of view.
• And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
• (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
• Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
• Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
• If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
• Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
• Always pick on the correct idiom.
• The adverb always follows the verb.
• Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague; seek viable alternatives.
• Avoid annoying alliteration.
• Don’t verb nouns.
• Don’t use no double negatives.
• Make each pronoun agree with their antecedent.
• When dangling, watch your participles.
• Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
• About those sentence fragments.
• Try to not ever split infinitives.
• Its important to use apostrophe’s correctly.
• Always read what you have written to see if you’ve any words out.
• Correct spelling is esential.
• Proofread you writing.
• Between you and I, case is important.
• Verbs has to agree with their antecedents.

***********************

On another note… I stumbled upon this MacGyver umbrella challenge today. Quite timely, after yesterday’s post and Becky’s comment. No time to even entertain the thought, not to mention I currently have no umbrella cadavers lying about, but I’ll be curious to check in to see what folks dream up.

As for the previously predicted rain today, alas, there is none. It’s a sunny and beautiful 60 degrees with big puffy white clouds over the mountains. sigh. Another umbrellaless day.

Filed under NaBloPoMo, blahblahblah |