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See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I have a cold. Stayed home today and slept until 3pm. Got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face. Proceeded to go down the stairs and TOTALLY fell backward, sliding all the way down to the landing. Banged head, rug burn, gnarly ass bruise on my ass, purple tricep. Well, if I actually had a tricep there, it would be purple. I suppose then I have a purple bingo wing.

One of the first thoughts I had when I stopped falling was, “Oh, my hip! I’m old, but not old enough for a hip replacement… am I? Noooooo!”

I mentioned to my pal, David, that I figured the moral of the story is that I should have never gotten out of bed. He replied, “stories with morals are overrated, especially when they’re happening to you.” Totally quote worthy.

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Thanks to Roger and Becky for hipping me to the video above. Totally share worthy.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Sofie off the dining room table for the umpteenth time this evening. She pulls out a chair, using it as a ladder to make her way to the table top.

I fear that if today it’s dining room tables, tomorrow it’s bar tops. Pray for me.

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